secularglaze:

thatlaurenalex:

xelamanrique318:

trashpits:

who decided skeletons are scary like ???? you have a skeleton do not be afraid of u

if there was a meat man running at me at high speeds i’d be hyperventilating

andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

me: *rolls down windows*

cop: do you know why i pulled you over?

me: *throws head back and covers nose* omg your breath so stink

reverseracism:

nintendear:

dong666:

*deletes post after 1 minute* limited edition

ops blog was limited edition

lmaonade:

brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah

saladsaladnovski:

jewcoded:

my DNA test results came back positive. i definitely have DNA.

quit bragging

kyletprinceofrenmark:

ambxrheard:

infinity war is a dumb movie cause why would you bother all those heroes to fight thanos when all you have to do is get ant-man inside his asshole, make him grow back to his normal size and that’s it purple joss whedon is dead